Arthousefc, 34

I just watched "It's Kind of a Funny Story" and it reminded me how bittersweet it is for me to watch movies like that.

It was yet another movie about a guy who wanders --- backwards into the love of his life.

There's nothing specifically bittersweet about fictional people falling in love, I guess. The problem is that it reminds me of the maxim on which most of my adolescence was built: you will eventually meet a girl who understands you, or at the very least makes you feel understood, and you will understand her, or at the very least make her feel understood, and the two of you will be in love.

I think the reasons that this maxim defined my adolescence are twofold: one, I was raised by a television set; two, it was the most exciting hope for the future I had ever heard.

I have not wandered --- backwards into the love of my life. The women of my past have fallen into three categories: those who were not romantically interested in me, those who were romantically interested in me because they found me good-looking, and those who have been romantically interested in me because they found my intellect and artistic talent impressive in some abstract way.

I have appreciated all of their efforts, and I hope they have appreciated mine, but I didn't grow up watching movies where a guy meets a girl who thinks he's good-looking and then he feels complete inside. I want to feel the way the fictional boy in "It's Kind of a Funny Story" feels when the fictional girl smiles at him. I want to feel understood, and I want to understand someone. Really, truly understand someone.

It is bittersweet for me to watch movies like that because it has not happened for me yet, but I will always hold out hope that someday it will.

My profile title is a lyric from my favorite song: "Northern Sky". Thank you for reading.