How do you date a bookworm?

[rofigo]

First of all, I want to chuckle at the fact there are absolutely NO threads in the dating section of Intellectual Passions. It really doesn't do much to refute the idea that "nerds" are too busy delving into books and whatnot to be dating... which leads me to my thread topic.

I like bookworms. It turns me on to see a pretty girl reading. It signals to me that this lady is one who thinks, of all things, and probably has some cool things to talk about therefore.

The problem I find though, is that they're hard to pursue. There's a fine line between being bold and chasing a girl, and respecting that they have their own meaningful lives to progress. That, and a lot of bookworms (you know, the quiet, shy, introverted type) are more likely at home or contently minding their own affairs quietly, requiring a guy with manners not to intrude upon her.

So my question is, how does a [guy] pursue/date a bookworm?

[80402j (deleted)]

`Send her a book or a quote from a book? (The quote would be to pique her interest and draw her out of the house: a meeting?) This is assuming you know where she lives and perhaps have met her.

[theinquisitor]

`YEs! That's a fabulous idea. Or dress up as her favorite book author/protagonist and involve her in an adventure of a lifetime by acting out scenes from the book and getting her to play along. Be creative.

[rofigo]

Hmm. I am the theatrical sort, but I don't know if acting things out would be the right idea.

There is a girl I like, but I've only met her once, and even then it wasn't for the purpose of courtship. Amusingly enough, she actually works in a library. It would be awesome if I could somehow visity that library during one of her shifts and do something clever/romantic to let her know I was interested in her. Something --------, but earnest.

Otherwise, thanks for the ideas. I was mainly asking about circumstances in which women like that are comfortable being happened upon, if a guy were looking to court her.

[deyna]

`Intellectual people basically need a good break. Sometimes burying one's self too deeply in piles of journal papers or sophisticated *nalytical assignments for the day could sometimes be an excuse to cover up for the minimal social interaction they have mustered for the past few years if not entirety of their lives (well, some, especially those who pretend to be married entirely to mind stimulating activities, but secretly want to be downright romantic sometimes but just too stuck up to get real (laughs)). If you were to ask me, if I was in a library absorbed in my favorite economics book, and thereafter a distinct gentleman who would care less about my concentration, would daringly place a macchiato in the table to where I am seated,, and say "this'll warm you up." and engage me in a heartfelt conversation, would make me feel a lot more human, than not to be disturbed at all throughout the day. Just make sure the well orchestrated interruption is not too annoying and pointless. Love it. mwah

[roxanochka (deleted)]

`If you saw the book that she was reading you should get it and read through it as fast as you can (to catch up with wherever she is at) but be sure to understand it. Then you can discuss the book with her. She'd really enjoy that because it'll show that you have interest in the same things she does. Or like 80402j wrote, sending her a quote would be very clever and romantic.

As for her working in a library, that is very convenient for you. I suggest that you find out when her shift starts and pay her a visit. Try to ask her for help on finding a book. Become a regular at that library and approach her, but take your time.

[heathermw7]

`I read a recent article on "the elevator pitch". That's where you see someone you need to speak with that you know has the resources to help you with an idea, and they are getting into an elevator, and you manage to get in there alone with them, but now only have the duration of the elevator ride to condense your great idea in the most favorable and convincing fashion. I think interest in bookworms is something similar. And speaking from experience, when someone interrupts my escape into an intense and private fantasy (reading), I lose patience with them quickly unless they can offer me up something that is equally as interesting. Perhaps the best way to "get in the door" with a bookworm is something similar to a cheesy pick-up line, only a little more intense and honest. I know that if a guy came up to me when I had my nose in a book, I wouldn't mind putting it down if he expressed his immediate emotional/intellectual/psychological interest in frank terms. (And I say "emotional" because if he says something like "what are you reading?" or "I like your hair", I'm going to assume he's either running game, or is clueless about being disrespectful for having interrupted me.) I'd like to hear "I think you are physically attractive, however, the fact that you are reading, and clearly deeply enjoying it makes me think you are intelligent, and now my brain is squirming thinking about the possibility of a conversation with you. I know I've interrupted your book, but I really had to take that chance for the opportunity that we may have a good conversation."

[heathermw7]

`Oh yeah! And I absolutely agree with you about the irony of the dating forums being mostly empty. That was the first thing I noticed. Very uninspiring. Maybe we need to create more threads?