Happiness

[vystic]

I see so many people unhappy in todays world so I thought about it and here are the fruits of my labor.

Human beings are complex in that every personality is divided into three parts: body, mind, and soul(id, ego, and superego as I learned a year ago that Freud called them). Happiness is satisfying the needs of one of these levels. Therefore ultimate, or true, happiness is having the needs of all three levels satisfied at the same time.

Body-Your body only wants very basic primal physical things(It ain't too picky). Sleep, s--, food, drink, etc. It is very easy to pinpoint these needs since we fulfill them the most frequently. Furthermore these needs don't change very much from person to person(I don't see too many people going around without the need for eating).

Mind-Your mind wants the intangibles. Satisfying this level is more difficult then the body because the needs of this level aren't physical anymore yet still relatively simple because we are our minds, just give it some deep thought and you should realize what your needs are. The needs of this level change from person to person as do our minds, furthermore they change with our minds. Examples include challenges, hobbies, power, ect.

Soul-This is the hardest one to satisfy on account that many of us aren't in touch with our "soular" selfs. It's even harder for males on account of the fact that we are brought up to repress emotions and push away from our soul. Soul needs change from person to person even more drastically then minds. Basically anything that is a primal need that isn't physical would be put in this category. ( Protection, compassion, companionship, hobbies, ect.)

So then, to summarize, true happiness can be found by you by first figuring out what each level of you wants out of life and second doing it. Those are my thoughts on this matter comments, concerns, questions?

P.S. Sorry for the grammar and spelling in advance.

The hedgehog's dilemma is my life.

[spiralguy_PREV (deleted)]

`I once attended a church sermon. I am not a Christian but I got something important from this sermon... a quote that I have always remembered:

"Happiness comes from happenings. It needs to be sustained. What we really need to attain is joy."

If we all tried to attain a state of being instead an emotional state that needs constant maintenance, we all might be "happier."

[vystic]

Playing Devils Advocate here...please don't take any offense.

Doesn't joy need to be sustained in the same sense as happiness?

Your advice is to attain a state of being(which I'm assuming is joy) instead of an emotional state yet you don't even define the difference between an emotional state and a state of being, forcing us to assume the difference and creating the possibility of us interpreting it differently then you have, or even tell us how to try to obtain a state of being. I'm not asking for a map here, a finite set of directions that lead from point A to point B, I'm asking for a general path, the direction that we should take to achieve our ultimate goal, happiness.

I think you'd need to give us, the community at this site, more direction then a quote and multi-interpretational words for us to have any shot of chance at achieving the desired result, happiness, using your method.

At least those are my thoughts.

The hedgehog's dilemma is my life.

[justplainjane]

`I walked into a Walmart with a friend once and was greeted over-enthusiastically by an overweight mid-40's mentally -------- man with an enormous cheese eating grin on his face. He offered me a yellow smiley sticker which I politely declined.
I was having a self-pity day and turned to my friend and sourly said, "Whose life sucks more, his or mine...?"
He said, "Definitely yours! He loves his job. He's good at his job. He has all his "friends" who come in to see him at work every day. Your life definitely sucks more."
Damn! In retrospect, I should have taken the sticker.

Happiness is perception.

[elvely_PREV (deleted)]

`I read and agree with the OP. (this is just a comment)

IMO, I also perceive happiness as a choice. A lot of times people cause their own unhappiness even though there are many other sources of unhappiness. I think its interesting how we as humans dwell in our suffering,misfortune and things we cannot change. For us to look past it and move forward, it takes the healing of our soul. While if one were looking from the outside in on the same situation the solution to the problems we face is usually very obvious...even simple. Its wrapping our minds around the solution which is usually rooted in more positive things, positive thinking and optimism that usually brings about the fastest healing. Because we are able to gradually take ourselves out of our undesirable situation, which first starts in our minds.

Wouldn't it be amazing if people were capable of changing their minds in an instant? Literally, lives would instantly change and everyone would function at optimum efficiency. But that would mean taking emotions completely out of the picture.

Sometimes when I am feeling frustrated or am dealing with difficulties, I try to change my perspective toward the positive and usually it helps me feel better and I function better. I think when we deny the fulfillment of our soul, we deny our own lasting "joy" and happiness. And when people do this they find ways to replace genuine happiness with objects and materialism. Things that were originally meant to satisfy our baser needs, which is why so-called happiness, in this world, doesn't seem to last.

But I dunno...lol

[fairylovesgoth]

for some people happiness is not easy, for example people who are suffering from depression do not choose to be in the state they happen to be in. and no matter how good their lives have been they still don't feel good. happiness for some is just not that easy. happiness is a state of mind. you could be the poorest person in the world and still find things to be happy about.

[rofigo]

I think I agree with the OP, and then some.

I've always found that I'm most unhappy in life (overall, not just talking about a one-off incident) when I'm not balanced:

I'm being too leisurely;

I'm being too productive;

I'm too romanced (though I won't see this as a problem at the time);

I'm thinking too much;

And various other sorts of excesses.


Happiness, as another poster stated, is a choice. It is also a goal and a means. It is fueled by the faintest of hopes that fuel the weakest of wills to become better people. With that will is the motivation to be balanced and eventually happy.

That's my take on it, anyway.

[80402j (deleted)]

`When looking at dictionary definitions of the words "joy" and "happiness" I discovered that happiness is more feeling content or taking pleasure in something(emotions that can result in peacefulness and less action: satisfied), and joy is overflowing emotions that result in action (singing, jumping, exuberant displays, etc). Interesting study anyway.
OP- I really like the theories and tying-in of psychological perspectives.
Everyone else- Good thoughts.
My thought-
Assumptions: Everyone wants to be "happy".
Everyone acts to be "happy".
Not everyone is "happy", emotionally.
Conclusion: Either everyone is happy and just doesn't see it (They are actually more happy in remaining depressed and lazy than doing what they aspire to do. If they were unhappy, they would act differently.) or what they view as "happiness," or think will bring them "happiness," doesn't really make them "happy" (satisfied).
In answer to OP, then- Your solution--to discover what makes one's self happy-- would be guiding my second assumption, "Everyone acts to be 'happy,'" towards a hopefully happier conclusion. If people were to study themselves more and learn what truly made them happy, they would not go off on attempts that will not satisfy in the end.
I believe that there is only one thing that makes each of us happy, and that thing is hard for us to discover, achieve or posess. That thing is manifestly seen in thousands of little things that we pursue in order to attempt to attain the ultimate. But, there is something that will make each of us so completely happy that it will result in satisfaction and joy at the same time.
-End of thought

[80402j (deleted)]

`p.s. People just aren't always able to see.
p.p.s. Those who can see, see through a cloud but dimly. It is only in the future that they will see things completely in the light.

[su22]

`happiness is for ever desired because it is impossible:
the existence of human beings are based on survival,
to survive, each individual has to take care for himself first,
to do this, he must act selfish.
One might add some intelligence into this play like social coopration,
but that's secondary and
more kind of art to work toward the ego than basic instinct.
So this very selfishness is the culprit that makes happiness a dream only.

A practical advice:
offer more to others, saticfy other's egoism, make others happy first,
if you are lucky, you get happy reword.
Be careful, not every one can do this, only the stronger ones who have
more left than they need for themselves.

[ioncartographer]

`"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Try substituting "inferior" with happy. Still think it holds true? Feelings can often times seem uncontrollable. Feelings can sometimes confuse us as they seem to be rooted without logical or structured rational basis. Sometimes we think what we feel is incongruent with how we "should" feel.

Hence, I will concede that consent to feel anything doesn't have to be conscious. You don't have to think, "I feel happy." It can happen all on it's own. We know how to feel happy without consciously causing ourselves to. My theory is that subconscious consent can be given. If we have deep within ourselves a place that senses justification for happiness, then happiness will come. Subconscious consent can be provided and we can be happy.

This implies an agreement with the OP. In order to be happy we must first look within ourselves.

Of course, this is all based on the assumption that ol' Eleanor was right in the first place. -shrug-

[seikyo (deleted)]

fairylovesgoth wrote: for some people happiness is not easy, for example people who are suffering from depression do not choose to be in the state they happen to be in. and no matter how good their lives have been they still don't feel good. happiness for some is just not that easy. happiness is a state of mind. you could be the poorest person in the world and still find things to be happy about.



People with depression do not choose to be in the state they are I agree, but they do have the power to change it if they want to. I know it sounds cliché, I know it has to do with a lot of biological factors BUT being conscious of a state of mind and by that I mean...really BEING conscious will make the person realise that it's a regressive state they are in. In life we always have more than one solution.

To say they don't chose to be in the state they are...I can't agree, I know many people diagnosted with depression that decided to just stop, step back and analyse their emotions to end up realising it made no sense and they need to take their lifes back in their hands .

Happiness is a state of mind and way beyond that, it's being conscious about what really makes you happy and why and realise how strong and real it is which makes the happiness even more powerfull.

People to oftenly mistake joy for happiness, joy is oftenly caused by a emotional compulsion in reaction to something or someone but in most cases when you stop and rethink about it ( like for anger compulsions) you realise that by stepping back it was a overreaction or just not as big as you felt it was at that moment and oftenly that little joy plays on your dose of serotonine and adds up to your amazement and takes you even further away from your conscious mind.

But that's just my opinion

[grok]

`What is happiness?
Would you put happiness on one end of a scale & catatonic depression on the other end?
In general, happiness seems to be based on life meeting first needs, then expectations.
A person near death from dehydration that finds water is happy beyond your best day.
A mother who finds her child safely survived the bus accident is absolutely giddy.
So relief from, or fulfillment of, a serious need does indeed produce happiness.
Expectations are a little more difficult. They must be realistic. The means to achieve them must be available. You must posessess the necessary ambition & skill. If these things are so, you will be happy.
People in cultures where needs & wants are fairly well taken care of should seek happiness outside of this.
Frequently they do not, instead focusing on greater & more esoteric or obscure expectations which forces them into frequent disappointment & resulting unhappiness.
My suggestion is to learn to appreciate what you have. Most of us have more than we deserve. We should learn to be happy with that.
Maybe you think the world owes you something? Welcome to unhappiness.
Perhaps we should all be able to appreciate the "pursuit of happiness" in relative freedom. This alone makes me happy.
I survived a tour in Vietnam. Hapiness? Hell, the rest is gravy!

[caper3 (deleted)]

vystic wrote: I see so many people unhappy in todays world so I thought about it and here are the fruits of my labor.

Human beings are complex in that every personality is divided into three parts: body, mind, and soul(id, ego, and superego as I learned a year ago that Freud called them). Happiness is satisfying the needs of one of these levels. Therefore ultimate, or true, happiness is having the needs of all three levels satisfied at the same time.

Body-Your body only wants very basic primal physical things(It ain't too picky). Sleep, s--, food, drink, etc. It is very easy to pinpoint these needs since we fulfill them the most frequently. Furthermore these needs don't change very much from person to person(I don't see too many people going around without the need for eating).

Mind-Your mind wants the intangibles. Satisfying this level is more difficult then the body because the needs of this level aren't physical anymore yet still relatively simple because we are our minds, just give it some deep thought and you should realize what your needs are. The needs of this level change from person to person as do our minds, furthermore they change with our minds. Examples include challenges, hobbies, power, ect.

Soul-This is the hardest one to satisfy on account that many of us aren't in touch with our "soular" selfs. It's even harder for males on account of the fact that we are brought up to repress emotions and push away from our soul. Soul needs change from person to person even more drastically then minds. Basically anything that is a primal need that isn't physical would be put in this category. ( Protection, compassion, companionship, hobbies, ect.)

So then, to summarize, true happiness can be found by you by first figuring out what each level of you wants out of life and second doing it. Those are my thoughts on this matter comments, concerns, questions?

P.S. Sorry for the grammar and spelling in advance.

The hedgehog's dilemma is my life.

My body: Is that living moving matching wits with me entity. My stomach: Is that entity that can sustain me by eating food when I feel weakened. MY Body, is not my stomach, and may or may not be eating as I do. Period. My mind: Is a large organ occupied by concepts I call completed thoughts. My guessing and wondering is not my mind.
Additionally, I am my own mind. My mind likes to entertain itself. My stomach has a mind that keeps me/us functioning. Etc., etc. Lastly, you can't know what your needs are if you've never met the thing you need.

Just thought I'd explain how 'off' I think your statements were. As to my rebuttal; its probably too heady.

[parmasean]

`Nice reading everyone!

Happiness is as happiness does! Gump-ism!

Happiness vs. depression: depression is real and can interfere with happiness; it can also be misdiagnosed, like any other disease. (I remember a room-mate throwing scissors at me because I said, "hello." She then cried in her room all afternoon. I *think* she was a little depressed, and probably not very happy; I also doubt she would have chosen that state if she had a choice, even though she was very intelligent and aware).

Control over happiness? Consider this:

"They can stop me from doing what I like, but they can't stop me from liking what I do."

In order from greatest control to least, we can control:
1. our own judgements
2. our choices
3. our actions
4. our environment

Because: It is our conscious, aware mind that does the choosing, and has the control. Notice that as you go down the list, the object of control gets farther from--and thus less under the influence of--the conscious mind. It works like a continuum: the farther you get from the conscious mind, the more indirect the control we have becomes. At the end of the list, it's not really "control," but more like "influence."

A mind bender: things (like neurochemicals, drugs in the bloodstream, anatomical conditions or trauma) that influence the consciousness itself, or its ability to become aware of something, also then influences the range of choices that we can make, which would then limit our ability to either (a) choose things that make us happy, or, (b) choose happiness itself.

So, which of the four above items has the greatest influence on our happiness?

This is a great discussion (see, I just controlled my own judgement, and it made me smile. Hmm...) Have you ever noticed that people who are "depressed", or just unhappy in general, habitually focus on things that they cannot control? "No-one likes me." Well, can they control someone else's likes or dislikes? No. Then, they usually engage in some sort of "coping mechanism" like drinking, that is totally ineffective at solving the problem that they originally stated--in fact, the bad coping mechanism usually WORSENS the problem.

In contrast, happier people tend to focus on things they can control. Faith is a great example: I can choose to believe in something good! I can choose to believe that there are possibilities, good people, or a mate that's just right for me. I can choose to study, to work, to exercise, and to be kind to the people around me. Even if people around me (as in the holocaust) restrict my actions, I can still choose to believe that a better life exists, and show some kindness, however small, to those around me--even to my persecutors? (ok, back to neutral territory

This is great news for people who believe that the thing that affects their happiness the most is at the top of that list: our judgements. To everyone else: would you consider changing your belief?